Speechless

Yesterday, I received my first rejection.

It was kind of a little shocking. And if you're wondering, it was from Northwestern. As much as I didn't think I had a great chance of getting in, I did think I had a chance so I was a little bit devastated when they just outright said "Nope, we're rejecting you. Sorry."

I wonder if everyone's first rejection feels like that. I imagine this is what a person must feel like after being rejected by the person they like. ouch.

Well yeah, that was yesterday. This morning when I got to school, I got a text from Ryan saying that he got accepted to NYU! How crazy awesome is that!? I was so envious you can't even imagine. But, at the same time I was pretty ecstatic for him. I mean, it's not every day one of my close friends gets accepted into freaking NYU! Oh man. I'm so proud. I want to brag to people. It's nuts.

But yeah, while I was pretty excited about the news, I was also kind of feeling really nervous. I mean, if Northwestern can so easily reject me, then what can I expect from the other schools I'm waiting for? I mean, most of them are just as good as Northwestern if not better. So yeah, that was a debbie downer.

Anyway, I decided to check my email like half an hour ago to see if I received any more rejections and I saw that I got an email from Stanford. I was kind of scared to open it. I don't think I take bad news very well. But, I opened it anyway. And guess what?

Stanford has decided to inform me that I've been put on their waitlist! I'm MORE excited than I was over the NYU news! I mean, I was like 100% sure that I would be rejected, it's STANFORD for goodness sakes! But wow, to be put on their waiting list is like this honor. I'm walking on sunshine right now, for real.

I want to tell everyone, but at the same time, I want to keep it to myself because I want to keep all the happiness. So what do I do? I blog about it.

I hope everyone gets good news come April 1st  :))))

Peace.

Good Kid Bad Kid

I've always been under the impression that I was a pretty good kid. I get good grades; I don't disrespect my parents; I don't get in trouble.

But, as I was eating take out earlier, I had a flashback to last night. I remember slamming the car door shut while my mom was trying to tell me something because I was in a rush to get out of there. At the time, I didn't feel bad. I knew what she was saying and I thought it was completely unnecessary. So thus, it was okay.

Now that I think back on it, I feel...bad. I mean, she was just trying to tell me that she'd pick me up tonight and what did I do? I slammed the door and walked away. It was such a spoiled teenager move and I can't believe I'd do something like that. Maybe I'm not as good of a kid as I thought?

When that thought first occurred to me, I tried justifying it thinking that it was payback for all the times she did unfair things to me or was being unnecessarily mean. But does that really justify me acting like a jerk? I don't think so.

So, for the first time in my life, I'm thinking to myself, "I need to treat my parents better. And everyone else for that matter."

Is this growing up?